Setting Boundaries

We all have that one person in our life… You know the one that if you give an inch they take a mile. That friend, co-worker or family member that will literally keep taking from you until they literally suck the joy out of you if you let them.

For me I am a very giving person…the type that gives money to someone that needs it, brings soup or a meal to someone down and sick, sends cards, makes random sweets to share, has given parties for friends to celebrate their special day or accomplishments, someone who asks others what I can do to help them and many other acts of selflessness. I am not tooting my own horn here and I do these things because I genuinely like other people and wish to do nice things for them.

However, in the recent year I have had someone in my life that is very sick. Due to caring for this individual I had to change things like how many celebrations/parties I had at my house for events and for others. Life changed, and I had to dial things back a bit.

Out of all the friends (I thought I had) only a couple texted to ask was I ok, was the family member ok, could they help me by taking this person to a doctor’s appointment, bring over a meal or just come by to visit. Turns out when my giving and the festivities ended so did the friends! No random calls, cards, ect like I had shared with others or attention to my sick family member like I had given to theirs. I ask myself what did I do to these people…why aren’t they the friend to me like I have been to them? This made me not only sad, but also, sucked out my joy.

Does any of this sound familiar? If so please know you are not alone. My experience with this taught me that setting limits and boundaries up is important. Do not to let other people dull your sparkle or suck your joy from you. It is completely ok and appropriate to tell someone else no. It is also, ok to let people know how you expect to be treated or to remove yourself from a negative situation.

Boundaries though often not talked about are an important part of our own mental health and should be respected. I wish I would have understood the necessity of boundaries earlier in my life and held people more accountable for their actions. Remember you do not ever have to tolerate people that treat you poorly. Keep your head up and make yourself a priority!

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