New Year New Mindset

Thankfulness

I recently had family over in my home for the first time in awhile due to the pandemic. It felt good to cook a meal for them and to safely gather. I was beyond grateful for this moment. When it was over I sat and reflected how I have taken for granted gatherings like this hundreds of times before.

This past year has been very difficult for many. During this time I confirmed something my dad told me long ago, that if you are thankful you will not be as fearful or worried. This is not to say that all will magically be perfect in your life, but by redirecting your mind and focus to things that you are thankful for does make a big difference (in mood and thoughts).

So many people are scared to speak on many topics right now. Scared they will come off as insensitive, saying something that will cost them friends or followers. I have seen people lash out at each other, unfriend each other, and be so unkind. People are visibly becoming more divided and on edge.

No mater if you side with the right or the left remember we are all humans. Turn your focus from the likes, follows and trying to be of popular opinion and take time to be kind to your fellow man/woman, say thank you to others and be slow to speak.

I think we can agree that we all have something we can be thankful for and that we could all use more love, kindness and support in our lives. I am in control of my thoughts and I will not let the negativity seep in. Give yourself a moment and reflect on something you are thankful for today.

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Setting Boundaries

We all have that one person in our life… You know the one that if you give an inch they take a mile. That friend, co-worker or family member that will literally keep taking from you until they literally suck the joy out of you if you let them.

For me I am a very giving person…the type that gives money to someone that needs it, brings soup or a meal to someone down and sick, sends cards, makes random sweets to share, has given parties for friends to celebrate their special day or accomplishments, someone who asks others what I can do to help them and many other acts of selflessness. I am not tooting my own horn here and I do these things because I genuinely like other people and wish to do nice things for them.

However, in the recent year I have had someone in my life that is very sick. Due to caring for this individual I had to change things like how many celebrations/parties I had at my house for events and for others. Life changed, and I had to dial things back a bit.

Out of all the friends (I thought I had) only a couple texted to ask was I ok, was the family member ok, could they help me by taking this person to a doctor’s appointment, bring over a meal or just come by to visit. Turns out when my giving and the festivities ended so did the friends! No random calls, cards, ect like I had shared with others or attention to my sick family member like I had given to theirs. I ask myself what did I do to these people…why aren’t they the friend to me like I have been to them? This made me not only sad, but also, sucked out my joy.

Does any of this sound familiar? If so please know you are not alone. My experience with this taught me that setting limits and boundaries up is important. Do not to let other people dull your sparkle or suck your joy from you. It is completely ok and appropriate to tell someone else no. It is also, ok to let people know how you expect to be treated or to remove yourself from a negative situation.

Boundaries though often not talked about are an important part of our own mental health and should be respected. I wish I would have understood the necessity of boundaries earlier in my life and held people more accountable for their actions. Remember you do not ever have to tolerate people that treat you poorly. Keep your head up and make yourself a priority!